4 Steps To Make Your New Year's Resolutions Stick

Here we go again ... It's January and come the 31st of December your way was paved with good intentions, wasn't it? So what happened? What happens every year? Why do so many New Years' Resolutions end up consigned to our own personal "Recycle Bin"? More important, is there anything you can do to make that different this time around? Well, fortunately there is. It's simple, you can do it and you'll love it, so read on. But first, let's understand the problem.
New Year resolutions are almost always made with a need for an iron will. If you have such a one that's great, but frankly, you probably wouldn't be waiting until the most festive, over-indulgent season of the year to be pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, now would you?
Secondly, they're made from a basis of fear. Fear of not changing, (like staying at a weight you don't like), or of things getting even worse, (like getting fatter), so with clenched fist and gritted teeth you decide that this time you're really going to stick to that diet. (Although as you haven't started quite yet, it won't matter if you have a little cream on that last mince pie, now will it?) See what I mean? Willpower! In this kind of situation, willpower itself is actually your problem, not your solution.
Let's take a moment to examine what willpower actually is. (Having helped literally thousands of smokers to quit - and being an ex smoker myself - I reckon I'm uniquely qualifi ed to talk about this, so stick with me. At least if you're still reading you can put off the diet for a few minutes more, can't you?)
Willpower is quite simply an internal battle between your logical mind and your emotions. Logically the cream cake is bad for you and your figure, but emotionally it's yummy. You will always go with a feeling first ... and last. Your emotions are going to win out. Every decision you ever make is emotionally based. Think about it - the house you live in, (if you had a choice), is located where you like, is probably the kind of architecture you enjoy and maybe has a view that takes your breath away. Even toilet tissue is sold on emotion - that's why the best selling brand in this country has for years been the one that has the puppy that makes millions of people go "Aaah!"
To tip the balance, you need to understand a basic of human psychology: we will always move away from pain, (which includes fear), and towards pleasure.

So here's how to make your resolutions really stick...

Step 1. Get really clear not only about your outcome, but why you want it. Saying you want to lose two stone isn't enough. You've got to know how you'll feel when you get there. For starters, how about proud? Or sexy? Or attractive? Or athletic? (And yes, I know there are a zillion possible resolutions you might have made that have nothing to do with your weight, but the principles are going to be the same, okay?)

Step 2. Make a picture in your mind of things getting as bad as they could be - and then some! You actually need to really connect with your fear of not changing because this will catapult you and motivate you into taking action. This is the most uncomfortable step to do, but believe me, if you do this one well, you will never go back to your old ways. It will just be too scary! So take a few minutes and mentally vividly create a mini "horror movie" in your mind of the worst that could happen to your health, relationships, love life, business - anything that matters to you - if you don't change.

Step 3. Mop your brow. Phew! The worst is over.

Step 4. Make a new movie of everything working out as you'd like it. Make sure the colours are bright and sunny, the feelings are warm. Play happy music - something you love - in the background. See, hear and feel people you love congratulating you, and hear yourself responding how ridiculously easy it all seemed. As this glorious set of feelings reaches its peak, squeeze the thumb and tip of your middle finger of your left hand together for about two seconds. Release, build the feelings again, and do the little squeeze again. Do this several more times until just doing the "squeeze" brings the feelings back. You've now created an "anchor" and anytime you feel yourself slipping into old ways you can just fire it off and you'll feel great again instantly!

And just in case that's not enough, just momentarily remember the "horror movie" you created in step 2 - you'll be back on track in moments. That's it!
Will you do this? You might, but if you've read this article and you're about to wrap the last of the turkey scraps in it just ask yourself why you'd be so committed to staying in your place of struggle.
There is an answer to that, but it's perhaps the subject of another article. For now, just scrape of those turkey bits and read the four steps again - it's your brain! You can either let it run your life, or you can run it and change your destiny.
Happy New Year!
Trevor Emdon is a Personal Development writer, trainer and workshop leader. For more information, visit his website www.wizardofwisdom.com, or email him: trev@wizardofwisdom.com or call 01392 861134.