Slow Down You Move too Fast
Sally Warner, Taunton

We all recall the tale of the tortoise and the hare, yet how few of us apply its basic message to our lives or stop long enough to think about it. In the hectic rush to get everything done at breakneck speed (little wonder it is called that) aren’t we forgetting something?
Like the important small things that combine to make the one big thing which is the quality of life we lead and the importance of finding time to spend on our relationships. And aren’t we also compromising our own sanity by taking on and promising more than we can deliver in the short time we allow ourselves. Consider this, how many serious accidents are caused because the driver or the cook or the machine operator is over-stressed and unable to respond quickly enough when things go wrong. How many relationships fail because one or both partners cannot spare the time to work on what really matters?
I recall a dear friend of mine who is, sadly, no longer with us. She was the original superwoman. Childless, she married very late in life, whilst doing a seriously senior brilliant job at a well known company. She lived, breathed and died that job and made it her own. What she didn’t know she’d mug up on and what hadn’t existed before she’d invent. She’d take work home. She’d take work on holiday. She rarely turned off and tuned out. To say that she inspired the team who worked with her is a gross understatement – she gave so many people a chance to prove themselves and was responsible for creating dozens of new jobs as the business grew. She never expected that any would work as hard as she did, she simply hoped they would each work their best and was always available to help them when they had problems or needed time off.
One day she noticed a lump in her breast. She was diagnosed with a fairly advanced breast cancer and she began a new job, that of preparing everyone for her departure. A stoic sort she continued working through her series of radio and chemo therapy treatments with enough positive energy to put a classroom of teenagers to shame. Even when she felt too ill to go into the office she had her assistant bringing work to her and set up her own mini-office at home. She wrote a superb fundraising letter for the cancer unit of her local hospital as she could see that many patients were having a tough time of it and could use better facilities …. She was responsible for raising more than £20,000 using her uncanny instinct for knowing who to target and her written powers of persuasion to ensure they helped. She also saw to it that her team gradually took on more and more responsibility so that when she wasn’t around they could cope with the workload without getting stressed. All the while hiding the fact from everyone, bar her partner, that she could count her remaining life in months rather than years as the cancer had spread and was deemed untreatable.
She could have thrown in the towel and left her job but, instead, chose to put a very brave face on it all to protect others, and very gradually reduced her hours so that rather than being first to arrive and last to leave she could take life at a slower pace. That included finding the time to take the amazingly brave step of getting married. It was what her partner and she had always planned on doing someday, they simply hadn’t got round it and he wanted to show everyone just how much he loved her. It was a poignant ceremony but she made sure it was joyful for everyone and still wasn’t letting on how little time was left. A short holiday followed the wedding and on her return she mailed me and another handful of her friends a card she had designed. The photo was of her smiling back over her shoulder just before entering the church for the wedding and inside was the message “Always take time to smell the roses and feel the sun on your back, and when you do think of me, I’m the one smiling beside you.”
She passed away peacefully within days of my receiving that precious card. Meticulous to the end, she had organised her own funeral which she wanted to be a simple, quiet affair with just a few close friends and relatives present to support her husband. Her affairs were left in perfect order and she had even arranged tickets for her husband to fly out to New Zealand after the funeral to stay with his brother rather than have to imagine him lost and alone without her on more familiar ground.
And what has this to do with slowing down? It has everything to do with finding the time to do the precious small things that make a difference to others. The small acts of kindness and support that help our relatives, friends and colleagues to cope in times of sorrow and adversity. Slowing down enough to be able to fully enjoy moments of solitude, silence and contemplation that allow us each to garner strength to tackle overwhelming tasks and huge responsibilities.
We are all too busy with life to find our true inner strengths and yet many of us could achieve far more if only we allowed ourselves the luxury of time to think and plan ahead as well as to enjoy what we have already achieved.